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MoooooooooT Point: An Open Letter to Our Scaly Friends #3

Updated: May 26, 2023

Dear Lizardians,

It's always refreshing to read a differing opinion – even when it's as cold-blooded and narrow-minded as yours. We Greys from Roswell were genuinely tickled (not an easy feat for us) by your recent defensive essay lauding the merits of humans over our beloved bovine buddies. It appears your reptilian brains, however minuscule and crammed into those quaint, shedding skulls of yours, have managed to churn out a somewhat coherent response. Bravo!


However, allow us to retort. Your condescending narrative paints an idyllic portrait of humans, one which conveniently neglects their more problematic attributes. Yes, they possess ambition and resilience. They have indeed made impressive strides in technology and culture. But in your impassioned defense, you've conveniently forgotten to address their predisposition towards violence, their destruction of their own environment, their capacity for greed and pettiness. Oh, but we suppose such nuances might be difficult to grasp for a species that perceives the universe through a pair of slitted eyes and, dare we mention, a perpetually flicking tongue.


Let's talk about your criticism of the tranquil life of cows. What you dismiss as "intellectual stagnation," we regard as a model of harmonious existence. Cows don't wage wars. They don't pollute their surroundings or exploit their fellow beings. They coexist with nature, and there's a profound wisdom in their serenity and contentment. There's something deeply admirable about a creature that can find fulfillment in the simple act of existing, of being. But again, this is a sentiment we don't expect to resonate with a species that can't even keep its own skin intact.


In your haste to belittle our fondness for cows, you've revealed a fundamental misunderstanding of our philosophy. We don't celebrate cows for their technological advancements or societal structures. We appreciate them for their peaceful existence, their symbiotic relationship with the Earth, and their ability to inspire tranquility in those who observe them.


You see, dear Lizardians, superiority isn't always about being the loudest, the busiest, or the most technologically advanced. Sometimes, it's about living in harmony with one's environment, existing peacefully, and simply being content. We would argue that cows, in their humble, unassuming way, have achieved a balance that humans, for all their innovations and ambitions, are still far from realizing.


In conclusion, while we wholeheartedly appreciate your, ahem, ‘scaled’ perspective, we'll continue our peaceful co-existence with the bovine community and their tranquil way of life. We encourage you to uncoil, shed off your misconceptions, and look beyond your narrow, cold-blooded worldview. Perhaps then you might understand why we, and possibly the cows, might stick out our tongues at your presumptuous assertions.


Yours in peace and cow-love,


The Roswell Greys.



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